#8 GOOD GRIEF NEWS
ON PET LOSS, DEAD-DOG TIKTOK & THOUGHTS FROM AN ANIMAL GRIEF COACH
Image: Emma Conger (@md_mermaid/TikTok) via Business Insider
I’ve never had a dog or a cat. But I do have chickens. They came with the house when we bought it—a quirky addition we weren’t entirely prepared for but we loved them straight away. One particular chicken, Lady Gaga, stood out. She was the most extroverted and full of character. When she passed away, we gave her a little burial ceremony in the garden. It’s been over a year, and we still talk about her. Losing Lady Gaga reminded me that grief doesn’t have to be limited to humans—it’s about the bonds we form, no matter the species.
This sentiment reflects a larger cultural shift. Pets today are more than companions; they’re family. And mourning their loss has gained more recognition in our culture. As society’s attitude toward pet grief evolves, so do the services and rituals to honor them, sparking innovations in memorialization and care.
Why is This Trend Growing?
The rise of pet grief as a cultural phenomenon stems from several shifts:
Deep Emotional Bonds: Studies show most pet owners consider their pets family. This emotional closeness demands more meaningful end-of-life rituals.
Changing Lifestyles: With smaller families or solo living becoming more common, pets often fill social and emotional roles traditionally occupied by humans.
Destigmatization of Grief: Public discourse around grief has grown, and mourning pets has started to gain societal acceptance.
"Humanized" Pet Care: We already pamper pets during their lives—custom diets, spas, daycare—so thoughtful end-of-life care feels like a natural extension.
Advances in Veterinary Services: Longer pet lifespans due to better care lead to higher demand for end-of-life and grief support services.
Screenshot from Washington Post article
Disenfranchised Grief
While societal attitudes are slowly shifting, pet loss often remains trivialized as “not significant.” For many, pets are deeply cherished companions who provide emotional support and unconditional love, making their absence profoundly painful. Yet mourners frequently encounter dismissive comments like “It was just a dog,” which can intensify feelings of loneliness, shame, and invalidation. This reflects disenfranchised grief, a term describing losses that are not openly acknowledged, socially mourned, or publicly supported. Other examples include miscarriages or divorces, where grief is often minimized or misunderstood.
Without formal rituals or broad cultural validation, this type of grief becomes uniquely challenging. However, personal acts of remembrance—such as creating memorials, sharing memories, or joining support groups—can help provide solace and recognition.
Grieving Pet Owners’ Needs
Behind the ‘Pet Loss Trend’ is a desire for validation, connection, and healing:
Acknowledgment of Loss: Ceremonies and rituals help grieving owners feel their loss is understood and respected.
Tangible Memories: Keepsakes like engraved urns or photo memorials offer a physical way to honor the pet's memory.
Support for Complex Feelings: Owners grapple with emotions like guilt over euthanasia or shame about grieving a pet as intensely as a human. Coaching and support groups help navigate these challenges.
Community: Sharing grief with others who understand—whether in person or online—can be deeply comforting.
Screenshot from Indy100.com article “People mourn the loss of their dogs in heartbreaking TikTok trend”, TikTok accounts @ksam325, @lexx.rene, @emmwee
Dead-Dog Tik Tok creating a viral grief loop
Grieving for one's pets also moves into the digital realm, with 'Dead-Dog TikTok' showing how grief and algorithms collide, creating a loop of pet loss content: heartfelt videos of senior pets living their final day, tearful farewells in the vet’s office, and raw moments of grief in the aftermath. For grieving pet owners, sharing these moments can bring validation, catharsis, and connection with others who understand the depth of their loss. The comment sections often foster genuine care, offering comfort, resources, and solidarity.
Yet, TikTok’s algorithm may amplify the emotional intensity, showing users more grief content after engaging with just one video. This unintentional "viral grief loop" can be overwhelming, sometimes prolonging pain rather than helping. Crystal Abidin, founder of the TikTok Cultures Research Network, observes that the pandemic mainstreamed grief-related content on the platform, blending personal stories and professional advice into a shared digital space. While this evolution has normalized conversations around loss, it also highlights a critical limitation: grief is deeply personal and multifaceted, something no algorithm can truly tailor or soften for every individual.
Ultimately, Dead-Dog TikTok reflects the messy, complicated nature of grief itself—a profoundly human experience that resists the tidiness of online trends. For some, it may offer solace; for others, it might be too much. The challenge lies in navigating this digital grief space while honoring the emotional realities behind it.
🎙️ INTERVIEW with Ciao Miao
To find out more, I tapped into my network again – this time I spoke with Cordelia Noe, founder of Ciao Miao. Cordelia has a degree in organizational psychology and social sciences and she has recently made a name for herself in the creative and art industry.
After training as a grief counselor, she now makes grief and mental health accessible to individuals and businesses by developing customized tools to rebalance emotions after a loss of many different kinds.
Animal grief is a subject close to her heart, so she founded Ciao Miao, a digital platform for modern pet loss offering numerous services such as coaching for pet owners, education for industry professionals as well as one of a kind mementos such as urns, developed together with global creatives.
Image by Cordelia Noe
Cordelia, what inspired you to focus your work on helping people navigate the loss of their pets?
The bond we share with our pets is so pure and unique—it’s a love that’s unconditional and truly life-changing, also or especially for people who never were close with pets before. There are countless memes on IG on this one “When your dad never wanted this dog but on Christmas they wear each others faces on their pyjamas” - and it is so true. My husband is the best example. :)
When I lost one of my own pets in my mid twenties, in the same year as my father also passed away, I realized just how deep that pain goes and how little space we often have to fully grieve. And that dog was 15 years and his death was foreseeable. Now lets think of unexpected illnesses or accidents...
While I kept on working in a different industry for a while after this, it was ultimately that experience which inspired me to dedicate my work to helping pet parents to process their emotions, and to create meaningful ways to remember them. It’s about turning grief into something beautiful and healing, into (bitter sweet) memories of happy moments and to realise what the pets taught us that we now carry on.
What do you find are the biggest emotional needs of grieving pet owners, and how does your work aim to meet those needs?
Grieving pet owners often feel a need for validation and understanding. Oftentimes they just want to be heard. Losing a pet can be as devastating as losing a human loved one, but not everyone recognizes that depth of emotion. Especially when it comes to the duration of grief, colleagues or friends turn impatient after 1-2 months after the loss, but sometimes that is just the start of letting the grief out. So it’s tough.
My work provides a safe, compassionate space where people can feel seen and heard and where they can exchange with likeminded pet owners which can be very healing. And at the same time also meet an aesthetic that appeals to them which makes it more accessible to make use of the services.
Plattform Ciao Miao
You collaborate with artists and designers on one-of-a-kind urns and memorial objects. How do you select these partners, and where does the creative process usually start?
After having worked more than a decade in the art world, I am lucky to have a nice little black book of global creatives. For this special project, I look for artists and designers who not only have exceptional skills but also an emotional connection to what they create and ideally to pets. It’s important to me that they understand the significance of their work. The creative process usually starts with a conversation about grief, pets, death, their personality, quirks, and the memories that mean the most to the owner. From there, we brainstorm materials, shapes, and designs to craft something that feels deeply personal and unique. Every month we release a new collaboration. And every collaboration is such an exciting journey.
How do uniquely designed urns or keepsakes support people in processing their grief differently than other approaches?
A custom-designed urn or keepsake creates a tangible connection to the pet and acts as a focal point for remembrance. Unlike generic memorials, these pieces are tailored to reflect the unique bond between the owner and their pet. They’re not just objects—they’re stories. Also a lot of products being out there, feel very outdated - especially for a younger audience. And very generic—most of them with golden paws and wings. The level of personalization mixed with a new design language helps people process their grief in a way that feels authentic for them.
Thank you so much for the interview!
Urn design by Onka Allmayer Beck for Ciao Miao
Thanks for reading!
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Thank you for reading GOOD GRIEF NEWS, a monthly newsletter on trends and fresh perspectives around death, grief and remembrance. You can see more of my work at goodgrief.me or stefanieschillmoeller.com and feel free to follow me on Instagram.
27.11.2024